Stupidiest idea ever

January 17th, 2007 → 9:49 am @ // 10 Comments

Now, it’s very possible that I simply don’t get Murray Chass’s sense of humor…but no matter how many times I read this, I couldn’t find any indication that there was anything in here that was supposed to be a joke. But you decide:

“Six weeks after they agreed to terms on new contracts, Barry Bonds and J. D. Drew remain unsigned. Bonds hasn’t signed with the Giants; Drew hasn’t signed with the Red Sox. That prompts a thought. If both contracts were to fall through, the Red Sox could sign Bonds to play left field and move Manny Ramírez back to his original position in right.”

If Chass is being serious, you need to give him credit for coming up with perhaps the all-time most idiotic idea ever. The Sox have been consistent in their desire to rid the team of distractions; they’re also trying to limit overpaying senior citizen superstars that aren’t named Roger Clemens. Putting Bonds — with his demands for special treatment and the media-circus that follows him — into the Sox’s clubhouse at Fenway is like forcing Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton to share a dressing room. And considering the media frenzy that occurs whenever Manny sneezes, can you imagine what it’d be like to have federal investigators and investigative reporters trying to see what they can dig up about Barry’s past? Good god.

(You do need to give Murray credit for finding new sources: Brian Sabean’s secretary. To wit: “Brian Sabean, the Giants’ general manager, did not return a telephone call yesterday seeking comment on the contract circumstances. His secretary, told what the call was about, said she did not think Sabean would comment.”)


Post Categories: Barry Bonds & Murray Chass & New York Times & Steroids

10 Comments → “Stupidiest idea ever”


  1. crimsonohsix

    10 years ago

    didn’t bonds also say something to the extent that he would never play in boston because it’s a racist city?

    Reply

  2. kmoorej

    10 years ago

    The best part is that after floating this crazy idea in the first paragraph, he NEVER returns to it. He doesn’t even mention the Sox again. The rest of the article is all Barry and San Francisco. It’s like he sat down to write about the Sox in some way, got a call from Brian Sabean’s secretary, got distracted, and never bothered to re-read the piece.

    Reply

  3. Jenny

    10 years ago

    It’s really funny when people who say stuff like the following accuse others of being racially insensitive:

    “My agent is Jewish. They call me a black Jew. I guess I’m part Jewish because I don’t spend a lot of money or make a lot of bets.”

    Link

    Barry would never come to Boston, Mr. Chass! They hate black people, plus Theo would never spend a lot of money on him!

    Reply

  4. TBerg

    10 years ago

    Regardless of whether he was joking or serious, Chass’s “thought” has now been memorialized as an official Rumor with a capital R on Foxsports.com’s “Rumors and Notes” page (and currently has a prominent link on the http://www.foxsports.com homepage):

    http://www.benmaller.com/

    Now Chass must be right.

    Reply

  5. chris

    10 years ago

    Wow. I wonder what percentage of Chass’ columns are inspired by something he heard on WFAN.

    Reply

  6. branatical

    10 years ago

    I wonder if he even looked at the Red Sox roster before writing this? If he did, he would have realized the Sox don’t really need Bonds to play in right (as ridiculous as that is), and move Manny to left (as ridiculous as that is), because the Sox do have a viable left field candidate in WMP. Sure, Wily Mo isn’t a slick fielder but at 2.2m or whatever they’re going to settle on, it makes a lot more sense than Chass’ proposition.

    A little bit of fact finding and he could have reported what Nick Cafardo reported today. Namely that both sides are talking, medical terms vs. legal terms make it tough, but a deal is going to happen. End of story.

    A little more creativity and he could have mentioned the name of still unsigned folk hero Trot Nixon.

    But anway, I would rather see Barry Manilow playing left than Barry Bonds. I am positive Theo would too, if only for shits and giggles. No way in hell is Bonds coming to Boston. Everyone knows this except for Steve Phillips.

    As Tberg points out, this guy really is the tail that wags the dog. And yes, Bonds did himself say he would never play in Boston. He said, “Boston is too racist for me. I couldn’t play there. That’s been going on ever since my dad (Bobby) was playing baseball. I can’t play like that. That’s not for me, brother.” When the reporter countered that the racial climate has changed, Bonds responded, “It ain’t changing. It ain’t changing nowhere.”

    But it is Barry Bonds after all so you can’t really take what he says as truth.

    Reply

  7. Shalomar

    10 years ago

    MANNY IN RIGHT EQUALS RECORD INSIDE THE PARKERS

    Now I love Manny to death because he is the greatest pure hitter I have ever seen, but can you picture Manny chasing balls that hit near the Pesky pole and then carom towards the bullpen? We’re talking at least 5 inside the park dingers for the opposition.

    Reply

  8. Nordberg

    10 years ago

    Chass and Fox.
    Now there’s a rumor I’d like to start. (Hell, consider it started.)
    Murray Chass will begin commenting on Fox SportsNet starting Feb. 1. You read it here first.

    And dude. Stupidiest?

    Reply

  9. ygbluig

    10 years ago

    Wow. Bonds in left and Manny in right?
    That would take years off of Coco’s career.
    The only way to do worse defensively would be to play the replica Ted Williams and Babe Ruth statues in the Hall of Fame.

    Reply

  10. MarshallDog

    10 years ago

    Murray seems to be missing the whole point of the JD Drew signing, which is to find someone who will do a good job playing defensively in Fenway’s right field. Signing Barry Bonds does not solve that problem.

    Reply

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