Who’s more neurotic than Red Sox fans?

January 4th, 2007 → 11:36 am @

Duh: the Jews! What’s more, they’re funnier. Woody Allen, of course, exhibits both qualities in spades, as does David Rakoff (who also gives proof that head shots have little to do with reality: Rakoff is folically challenged and most certainly does not have that funny-looking, quasi-rakish cowlick). For the last week or so, Rakoff has been blogging about the Film Forum’s Woody Allen extravaganza (only one week left, folks!) on Nextbook, which officially bills itself as a “gateway to Jewish literature, culture, and ideas” but in reality is not nearly so stodgy.

So check it out (it’s not Joel Pineiro is exciting enough to occupy your time). I guarantee you’ll laugh out loud at least once per post. To wit: “The best example of GVMS {Gerontological Volume Maladjustment Syndrome} occurred when my friends Joel and Kate were in grad school in Ann Arbor. They went to a midday showing of Damage. The man of the aged couple behind them couldn’t hear, asking his wife what Miranda Richardson had just said. The wife responded without preamble, yelling loudly to the entire theater, ‘Fuck me, Peter!'” (That was worked into a post on “Wild Man Blues” and “Sweet and Lowdown,” as was this gem of a one-liner: “There’s a psychological term for this kind of self-deprecation: Mom.”) Now the next time Rakoff is a guest on the Daily Show you’ll be able to impress your friends by working in a comment about his views on “Hannah and Her Sisters.” Or impress your cat. Same difference.

Post Categories: Making flippy floppy & Rahm Emanuel & Steve Phillips

“Eso no es problema,” dijo Ortiz

November 29th, 2006 → 1:46 pm @

One of the many mistakes I made in high school was taking French — which has come in handy exactly never — instead of Spanish. So I can’t be sure that I’m reading this right, but I’m pretty sure that “eso no es problema” can be translated as, “It won’t be a problem.” That is, David Ortiz told El Diario that it wouldn’t be a problem is Manny Ramirez weren’t on the Red Sox next year.

(I’m actually more confident in my translation than in Babelfish‘s. Here are some selections from their attempt at deciphering the piece:

“‘Manny is a key card in the equipment, but… I have been developed all my single life and single it is necessary to battle, which is is that to throw p√°lante’, it indicated.
Ortiz and the Ramirez form one of the more frightful offensive pairs of the baseball of the Great Leagues and the year last with the Red Averages they added towed quadrangular 89 and 239. …
‘that is Already problems between Manny and the equipment of Boston, but we will see in what it finishes. They finish almost always with Manny in the equipment, we hoped that she happens thus ‘, added.”

Indeed. Who doesn’t hope it finish with Manny in the equipment? But I digress…)

Ortiz’s statements seem to offer even more evidence that Manny is likely on his way out; I can’t imagine Papi hasn’t been in touch with both the team and with his partner in the most frightful offensive pair of the Great Leagues. Lots of press reports seem to indicate this as well: ESPN’s Buster Olney reports the chances of the Sox dealing Ramirez are a 9 out of 10 (it was Olney who tipped me off to the El Diario piece); the Globe‘s Gordon Edes has some specifics, mentioning San Diego’s Scott Linebrick, Jack Peavy, and Adrian Gonzalez and the Mariners’ Adrian Beltre and Richie Sexson as possible bounty; while the Herald’s Michael Silverman raises the possibility that the Sox are responding to Manny’s latest trade requests by doing some reverse-psychology jujitsu, fermenting all this “activity on the Ramirez trade front” as a “good-faith gesture to keep Manny happy.” (Believe me, it’s not the craziest notion in the world.)

I’ve had some more thoughts since yesterday, when I said I was stumped as to why the Sox would consider trading Ramirez and signing J.D. Drew (with whom the Sox are apparently on the verge of finalizing a 4- to 5-year deal for $14 million per), and, in my usual flip-floppy way, I think I’ve come around to why some sort of trade does make sense, or at least is, at this point, unavoidable. (My inability to take a position and stick to it is one reason I’ll never be a successful politician, although arguably not as a big of one as my sordid past). But that’ll have to wait for later…

Post Categories: 2006 Hot Stove Season & David Ortiz & Making flippy floppy & Manny Ramirez